Back when I was sixteen I took a stick across the face. Most of the cranial damage was done around the left eye, visual damage to the right. Not so much an accident, but yet still accidental contact. A teammate took a shot at leveling a guy on the other team and caught me flush instead. It didn't drop me, but help was needed to guide me off. There was blood everywhere.
When I got to the hospital I was pretty well wound and bound up. I don't know for sure really how many days I was in darkness because they all ran together. Massive swelling had to subside so basically we all made due. Powerless doesn't quite cover the feeling, but for the most part help wasn't far away if I could grope around patiently enough to find the buzzer to the nurse's station.
When the initial prognosis came it was believed the bones around the left eye would heal, but there were questions about the vision in both eyes. The prediction was that enough damage was done that I'd soon need glasses. I first got them right after I turned 17. As the years rolled by the prescriptions got more frequent and the lenses thicker.
Its been five years ago since things really took an unusual turn. I contracted a virus/infection that still has some of the best eye doctors in the region baffled. Its brutal to hear 'we've tested and tried everything and we just don't know'. I can still remember the song that was playing on Muzak when the doctor was telling me my sight would be leaving me. Al Stewart-Time Passages. The lyric 'you reach out your hand but you're all alone' flashed me back to the hospital years and years before. Funny how timing works out that way eh? I drove around for hours listening to that song over and over and pondering the variables to come.
All the tests, eye drops, injections, even steroids of all things, have made no difference other than slowing down the loss of vision a little. Its odd how I can almost feel the virus working inside my right eye, taking away what it will this time and then subsiding to let me adjust once again. The drops and medicines ease the discomfort some, but only do so much. Its a continuing struggle that has changed life in every sense. I've had to switch careers twice, and the ongoing tests and ensuing payments have pretty well crushed me financially. Those are minor issues though. Saving what could be saved of my sight seemed worth it. If I'd known it was a lesson in futility maybe I'd have done things differently. Water under the bridge now.
The only places I've ever really felt completely comfortable, at home, have been on the ice, the field, the court. I was pretty slow for footspeed, but I was one of the best at not only reading the play, but the player. Seeing, and seeing inside, knowing what he was going to do just by the look in his eyes. It was all so easy, so apparent. I was in my element. If only things were so simple in the outside world. I often wonder what life will hold down the road. How will I see people and read people when I can't see people to read people anymore?
Whatever comes it'll be my bear to cross. Fear has long since left me. Spending a few days in complete darkness years ago will do that maybe. Hello Darkness my old Friend. The last couple months have been a particularly rough struggle as I feel it starting to work on me again. No pity, no sympathy, no any-of-that-stuff is wanted here. The old saying 'It is what it is' comes to mind. I've likely been pretty difficult to tolerate lately so to my friends I say thank you for being patient. Its appreciated more than any of you can know.
Time Passages-Al Stewart
It was late in December
The sky turned to snow
All round the day was going down slow
Night like a river beginning to flow
I felt the beat of my mind
Go drifting into time passages
Years go falling in the fading light
Time passages
Buy me a ticket on the last train home tonight
Well, I'm not the kind to live in the past
The years run too short and the days too fast
The things you lean on
Are the things that don't last
Well, it's just now
And then my line gets cast into these
Time passages
There's something back here that you left behind
Oh, time passages
Buy me a ticket on the last train home tonight
Hear the echoes and feel yourself starting to turn
Don't know why you should feel
That there's something to learn
It's just a game that you play
Well, the picture is changing
Now you're part of a crowd
They're laughing at something
And the music's loud
A gal comes towards you
You once used to know
You reach out your hand
But you're all alone
In these time passages
I know you're in there
You're just out of sight
Oh, time passages
Buy me a ticket on the last train home tonight
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y5T6huwqw98
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
Monday, March 31, 2008
Back In The New Ulm Groove
The ESPN Promotion Dept. has chimed in on the Final Four already. Mike Greenberg proclaimed this year 'greatest of all time' after the four top seeds made it all the way to through their regions. Without any of the feel-good stories of past years it has the potential to be some excellent basketball but kicking up the hype bar already proves the growing perception that ESPN is more of a glorified cheerleading squad than an actual sports news network.
Its now been five years since the Iraq invasion. If it was all about stealing the oil fields when will those reserves finally hit the American market?
Kobe Bryant was hit with his fifteenth technical foul recently. One more and not only is he suspended for a game but he becomes eligible to record a rap CD and be traded to Sacramento. He's having a great season statistically, but I'll believe he's MVP worthy when he starts dating again.
The 2008 Iditarod is over. The race was exciting throughout, with all the teams running hard. Surprise winner Floyd Landis declined the ceremonial bowl of kibble customarily awarded to the champion.
According to various news sources Green Bay had Jaguars third-stringer Quinn Gray in for an initial contract discussion. Its said if a deal can't be worked out with Gray the Packers also have interest in Tim Rattay, Kelly Holcomb, Gus Frerotte, Byron Leftwich, Daunte Culpepper and perhaps even Trent Dilfer. If nothing comes from this visit to the QB recycling center Pack management has also sent out feelers to Jeff George, Neil O'Donnell, Scott Mitchell, Rick Mirer, and out of sheer desperation Dave Krieg.
Depending on how creatively harsh the judge gets with sentencing Tripp Isenhour might learn a meaning of 'pecking orders' that doesn't involve migratory birds.
The good news: the long national recruiting hostage crisis is over as Terrelle Pryor finally signs a letter of intent to play football at Ohio State. The bad news: Pryor gave a verbal commitment to live in the dorms, but also signed a lease to share an off-campus apartment with Brett Favre and Roger Clemens. A new chapter to the saga begins....
Its now been five years since the Iraq invasion. If it was all about stealing the oil fields when will those reserves finally hit the American market?
Kobe Bryant was hit with his fifteenth technical foul recently. One more and not only is he suspended for a game but he becomes eligible to record a rap CD and be traded to Sacramento. He's having a great season statistically, but I'll believe he's MVP worthy when he starts dating again.
The 2008 Iditarod is over. The race was exciting throughout, with all the teams running hard. Surprise winner Floyd Landis declined the ceremonial bowl of kibble customarily awarded to the champion.
According to various news sources Green Bay had Jaguars third-stringer Quinn Gray in for an initial contract discussion. Its said if a deal can't be worked out with Gray the Packers also have interest in Tim Rattay, Kelly Holcomb, Gus Frerotte, Byron Leftwich, Daunte Culpepper and perhaps even Trent Dilfer. If nothing comes from this visit to the QB recycling center Pack management has also sent out feelers to Jeff George, Neil O'Donnell, Scott Mitchell, Rick Mirer, and out of sheer desperation Dave Krieg.
Depending on how creatively harsh the judge gets with sentencing Tripp Isenhour might learn a meaning of 'pecking orders' that doesn't involve migratory birds.
The good news: the long national recruiting hostage crisis is over as Terrelle Pryor finally signs a letter of intent to play football at Ohio State. The bad news: Pryor gave a verbal commitment to live in the dorms, but also signed a lease to share an off-campus apartment with Brett Favre and Roger Clemens. A new chapter to the saga begins....
Saturday, February 16, 2008
Sports News Creation
12:04 AM-ESPN2 breaks the news that Uno, the beagle who won Best in Show at the Westminster Kennel Club dog show, was seen with his manager speeding away from the scene of a shooting outside a Memphis area strip club.
12:15 AM-ESPN2 continues coverage, with ESPN and ESPN News using split screens.
1:00 AM-ESPN News reports that a warrant has been issued for the arrest of Uno.
1:30 AM-ESPN2 Sal Paolantonio reports that a spokesman for Uno issued a statement denying any involvement in the strip club incident and claims Uno has witnesses who'll corroborate that the beagle was nowhere in the area.
2:00 AM-ESPN News. Michael Kim airs footage of Uno sneaking away from the kennel of a female friend living in a suburb of Memphis. Consideration begins for possible ESPY nominations.
2:45 AM-All ESPN networks jointly air a press conference called by Uno's manager saying Uno has been in touch with animal control officials in Memphis and that 'at this time Uno is not considered a Hounddog of Interest'.
3:30 AM-ESPN News. Linda Cohn interviews an eyewitness to the strip club shooting who identifies one of the parties involved as a litter mate of Uno. Nominated for ESPY-Lightweight Fluff Reporting
4:15 AM-ESPN2. John Anderson reports that the home of Uno was raided by federal law enforcement officials investigating rumors that Uno's home was the base of an illegal bunny fighting ring. Nominated for Artificial Seriousness ESPY.
5:00 AM-ESPN. Steve Levy refers to the budding controversy as 'Doggie Gate'. Nominated for an ESPY-Best Catch Phrase.
5:02 AM-Management sends out memo to all ESPN staff to mention Doggie Gate as much as possible.
5:05 AM-ESPN copyrights and trademarks the phrase 'Doggie Gate' and begins selling beagle merchandise on its website. Nominated for a Shameless Huckstering ESPY.
6:30 AM-ESPN2. Skip Bayless blasts Uno's management team for not keeping the pooch on a tighter leash and rhetorically asks 'who is making the decisions in the Uno camp?'. Nominated for an ESPY-Most Hysterical Opinions category.
7:45 AM-ESPN2. Jay Crawford reveals on Cold Pizza that traces of Doggie Growth Hormone have been found in Uno's kibble. Nominated for a Lightweight Pretty Boy of the Year ESPY.
9:15 AM-ESPN Radio. Colin Cowherd reveals that Uno's first trainer died under mysterious circumstances after being beaten with a pooper scooper during what police officials described as having 'the appearance of an attempted mugging' while taking Uno for a walk in the park. Nominated for an ESPY-Best Use of Half Truths and Innuendo.
10:00 AM-ESPN. Dana Jacobsen unleashes a profanity filled tirade about Uno and recuses herself from any more reporting on 'Doggie Gate' when its revealed she has been passed over for an ESPY nomination during the continuing coverage.
10:30 AM-ESPN2. Rachel Nichols interview of Michael Vick. Vick issues a stern 'no comment' when asked about Doggie Gate. ESPY nomination in Shoddy Journalism category.
11:00 AM-ESPN News. Dana Jacobsen's impromptu press conference where she issues a tearful apology is covered live and earns her an ESPY nomination for Best CYA.
Noon-ESPN2. PETA issues statement condemning the rush to judgment about Uno's guilt. Beginning of protest campaign featuring nude supermodels with strategically placed puppies.
12:30 PM-ESPN News. On The Pulse Andy Katz reports that Uno's grade transcripts at Boston U. may have been doctored as reason Uno turned pro and never suited up for the Terriers. Katz adds that UConn is being investigated about recruiting violations by the Huskies athletic department concerning covering up the fact that the school may have paid for professional escorts for Uno during recruiting visits. Nominated for an ESPY-Naturally Curly Hair category
1:00 PM-ESPN. Live coverage of Congress issuing a subpoena to seize the embattled puppy's medical records includes Senator Kennedy photo op with a visibly agitated Lassie.
1:30 PM-ESPN2 Outside the Lines. Bob Ley interviews former personal trainer/fitness instructor answering only to 'Rex' who claims he personally supplied Uno with performance enhancing supplements. Nominated for ESPY-Unnecessarily Creating Controversy category.
2:00 PM-ESPN. On PTI Tony Kornheiser cleverly quips 'Uno has sure stepped in something this time'. Nominated for a Windbag of the Year ESPY.
2:30 PM-ESPN2 Woody Paige makes dumb joke about doggie style on Around the Horn. Nominated for an ESPY-Please Go Away Lifetime Achievement.
3:00 PM-ESPN News. ESPN expert Roger Cossack breaks down Uno's legal options on The Hot List. Nominated for an ESPY-Emptiest Opinion/Analysis.
3:30 PM-ESPN. Grainy footage of Uno biting a groomer during his rookie year is shown on First Take. Nominated for ESPY-Grassy Knoll category.
4:00 PM-ESPN and ESPN2 special hour long simulcast devoted exclusively to recap of days events concerning Doggie Gate with special analysis from Roger Cossack, Jaysen Stark, Dan LeBetard, Mike Lupica, the Dog Whisperer, Jennifer Love Hewitt, the Horse Whisperer, Dr. Drew Pinsky, Andrew Lesko, Stephen A. Smith with sidekick Raaaasho Nesterovic, and John Clayton. All are nominated for ESPYs except Rasho.
4:30 PM-ESPN News. Kirk Gimenez reports that recently unsealed court records confirm Uno fathered a pomeranian out of wedlock. Nominated for ESPY-Stop with the Phony Sounding Accent category.
5:00 PM-Management decides to carry over continued coverage of Doggie Gate on ESPN2, switching scheduled basketball triple-header featuring dream matchups Mavs-Spurs, Memphis-UCLA, and Pistons-Suns to ESPN 8-The Ocho. Management nominates itself for Executive of the Year ESPY.
6:00 PM-ESPN2 Stuart Scott recaps the first eighteen hours of coverage in hour-long live special. Nominated for an Incoherent Dialogue ESPY.
6:30 PM-ESPN Classic. Sklar brothers host 'Best of Doggie Gate Bloopers and Outtakes' with guests Penn and Teller.
7:00 PM-ESPN Classic Premieres 'Best of Uno Coverage Volume 1.' Nominated for an ESPY-Network Unrepentant Self-Aggrandizement category.
7:30 PM-All ESPN Networks air the highlights of Stuart Scott's recap from earlier in the evening...in High Definiton.
8:30 PM-ESPN News. Live coverage of press conference where a former girlfriend reveals plans to write a tell-all book about her year on the road with Uno.
8:45 PM-ESPN2 Uno's manager issues statement: She's a lying golddigging bi**h.
9:00 PM-ESPN management reveals plan to give the entire network team one big a**ed ESPY because 'our coverage is just dominating too darned many categories'.
9:30 PM-ESPN Classic 5 Reasons You Can't Blame Uno Special Report debuts. Nominated for an ESPY-No One Ever Is To Blame (thank you Howard Jones) category.
10:00 PM-All ESPN Networks air live coverage of press conference where Uno barks his retirement, rather than face the possibility of a Congressional inquisition, sorry investigation, into his personal life. A near riot ensues when one of Uno's Rottweiler bodyguards attacks Jay Mariotti after being scolded for taking a leak on Mariotti's IPOD.
10:45 PM-ESPN A hastily assembled all-star cast of characters including Mitch Albom, J.A. Adande, Steve Phillips, Susan Sarandon and Tim Robbins, Keith Olbermannnnn, Skip Bayless again, Larry Holmes, Priest Holmes, Santonio Holmes, Hannity & Colmes, Mrs. Tom Cruise (gotcha), Jonny Gomes, former British Prime Minister Tony Blair, and the Schwab are brought together to discuss whether the nonstop media circus had anything to do with the surprise retirement of the controversial beagle. No mirrors are allowed on the set to prevent any individual soul searching of their own personal style of coverage-not that anyone at ESPN can really look themselves in the face anyway. No one is nominated for an ESPY. The network finally ran out.
11:30 PM-All ESPN Networks begin airing advertisements for 'Best of Doggie Gate on DVD', a 15 disc collection of interviews and clips, with live narration by James Earl Jones and bonus commentaries from Chris Berman, Dan Patrick, Jason Smith, Mike&Mike, John Kruk, Barry Melrose, Carl Lewis, Dickie V., Lee Corso, Chuck Norris and Christie Brinkley. Also available on the website specially priced for ESPN Nation members. Supplies are limited. Order Now!
12:15 AM-ESPN2 continues coverage, with ESPN and ESPN News using split screens.
1:00 AM-ESPN News reports that a warrant has been issued for the arrest of Uno.
1:30 AM-ESPN2 Sal Paolantonio reports that a spokesman for Uno issued a statement denying any involvement in the strip club incident and claims Uno has witnesses who'll corroborate that the beagle was nowhere in the area.
2:00 AM-ESPN News. Michael Kim airs footage of Uno sneaking away from the kennel of a female friend living in a suburb of Memphis. Consideration begins for possible ESPY nominations.
2:45 AM-All ESPN networks jointly air a press conference called by Uno's manager saying Uno has been in touch with animal control officials in Memphis and that 'at this time Uno is not considered a Hounddog of Interest'.
3:30 AM-ESPN News. Linda Cohn interviews an eyewitness to the strip club shooting who identifies one of the parties involved as a litter mate of Uno. Nominated for ESPY-Lightweight Fluff Reporting
4:15 AM-ESPN2. John Anderson reports that the home of Uno was raided by federal law enforcement officials investigating rumors that Uno's home was the base of an illegal bunny fighting ring. Nominated for Artificial Seriousness ESPY.
5:00 AM-ESPN. Steve Levy refers to the budding controversy as 'Doggie Gate'. Nominated for an ESPY-Best Catch Phrase.
5:02 AM-Management sends out memo to all ESPN staff to mention Doggie Gate as much as possible.
5:05 AM-ESPN copyrights and trademarks the phrase 'Doggie Gate' and begins selling beagle merchandise on its website. Nominated for a Shameless Huckstering ESPY.
6:30 AM-ESPN2. Skip Bayless blasts Uno's management team for not keeping the pooch on a tighter leash and rhetorically asks 'who is making the decisions in the Uno camp?'. Nominated for an ESPY-Most Hysterical Opinions category.
7:45 AM-ESPN2. Jay Crawford reveals on Cold Pizza that traces of Doggie Growth Hormone have been found in Uno's kibble. Nominated for a Lightweight Pretty Boy of the Year ESPY.
9:15 AM-ESPN Radio. Colin Cowherd reveals that Uno's first trainer died under mysterious circumstances after being beaten with a pooper scooper during what police officials described as having 'the appearance of an attempted mugging' while taking Uno for a walk in the park. Nominated for an ESPY-Best Use of Half Truths and Innuendo.
10:00 AM-ESPN. Dana Jacobsen unleashes a profanity filled tirade about Uno and recuses herself from any more reporting on 'Doggie Gate' when its revealed she has been passed over for an ESPY nomination during the continuing coverage.
10:30 AM-ESPN2. Rachel Nichols interview of Michael Vick. Vick issues a stern 'no comment' when asked about Doggie Gate. ESPY nomination in Shoddy Journalism category.
11:00 AM-ESPN News. Dana Jacobsen's impromptu press conference where she issues a tearful apology is covered live and earns her an ESPY nomination for Best CYA.
Noon-ESPN2. PETA issues statement condemning the rush to judgment about Uno's guilt. Beginning of protest campaign featuring nude supermodels with strategically placed puppies.
12:30 PM-ESPN News. On The Pulse Andy Katz reports that Uno's grade transcripts at Boston U. may have been doctored as reason Uno turned pro and never suited up for the Terriers. Katz adds that UConn is being investigated about recruiting violations by the Huskies athletic department concerning covering up the fact that the school may have paid for professional escorts for Uno during recruiting visits. Nominated for an ESPY-Naturally Curly Hair category
1:00 PM-ESPN. Live coverage of Congress issuing a subpoena to seize the embattled puppy's medical records includes Senator Kennedy photo op with a visibly agitated Lassie.
1:30 PM-ESPN2 Outside the Lines. Bob Ley interviews former personal trainer/fitness instructor answering only to 'Rex' who claims he personally supplied Uno with performance enhancing supplements. Nominated for ESPY-Unnecessarily Creating Controversy category.
2:00 PM-ESPN. On PTI Tony Kornheiser cleverly quips 'Uno has sure stepped in something this time'. Nominated for a Windbag of the Year ESPY.
2:30 PM-ESPN2 Woody Paige makes dumb joke about doggie style on Around the Horn. Nominated for an ESPY-Please Go Away Lifetime Achievement.
3:00 PM-ESPN News. ESPN expert Roger Cossack breaks down Uno's legal options on The Hot List. Nominated for an ESPY-Emptiest Opinion/Analysis.
3:30 PM-ESPN. Grainy footage of Uno biting a groomer during his rookie year is shown on First Take. Nominated for ESPY-Grassy Knoll category.
4:00 PM-ESPN and ESPN2 special hour long simulcast devoted exclusively to recap of days events concerning Doggie Gate with special analysis from Roger Cossack, Jaysen Stark, Dan LeBetard, Mike Lupica, the Dog Whisperer, Jennifer Love Hewitt, the Horse Whisperer, Dr. Drew Pinsky, Andrew Lesko, Stephen A. Smith with sidekick Raaaasho Nesterovic, and John Clayton. All are nominated for ESPYs except Rasho.
4:30 PM-ESPN News. Kirk Gimenez reports that recently unsealed court records confirm Uno fathered a pomeranian out of wedlock. Nominated for ESPY-Stop with the Phony Sounding Accent category.
5:00 PM-Management decides to carry over continued coverage of Doggie Gate on ESPN2, switching scheduled basketball triple-header featuring dream matchups Mavs-Spurs, Memphis-UCLA, and Pistons-Suns to ESPN 8-The Ocho. Management nominates itself for Executive of the Year ESPY.
6:00 PM-ESPN2 Stuart Scott recaps the first eighteen hours of coverage in hour-long live special. Nominated for an Incoherent Dialogue ESPY.
6:30 PM-ESPN Classic. Sklar brothers host 'Best of Doggie Gate Bloopers and Outtakes' with guests Penn and Teller.
7:00 PM-ESPN Classic Premieres 'Best of Uno Coverage Volume 1.' Nominated for an ESPY-Network Unrepentant Self-Aggrandizement category.
7:30 PM-All ESPN Networks air the highlights of Stuart Scott's recap from earlier in the evening...in High Definiton.
8:30 PM-ESPN News. Live coverage of press conference where a former girlfriend reveals plans to write a tell-all book about her year on the road with Uno.
8:45 PM-ESPN2 Uno's manager issues statement: She's a lying golddigging bi**h.
9:00 PM-ESPN management reveals plan to give the entire network team one big a**ed ESPY because 'our coverage is just dominating too darned many categories'.
9:30 PM-ESPN Classic 5 Reasons You Can't Blame Uno Special Report debuts. Nominated for an ESPY-No One Ever Is To Blame (thank you Howard Jones) category.
10:00 PM-All ESPN Networks air live coverage of press conference where Uno barks his retirement, rather than face the possibility of a Congressional inquisition, sorry investigation, into his personal life. A near riot ensues when one of Uno's Rottweiler bodyguards attacks Jay Mariotti after being scolded for taking a leak on Mariotti's IPOD.
10:45 PM-ESPN A hastily assembled all-star cast of characters including Mitch Albom, J.A. Adande, Steve Phillips, Susan Sarandon and Tim Robbins, Keith Olbermannnnn, Skip Bayless again, Larry Holmes, Priest Holmes, Santonio Holmes, Hannity & Colmes, Mrs. Tom Cruise (gotcha), Jonny Gomes, former British Prime Minister Tony Blair, and the Schwab are brought together to discuss whether the nonstop media circus had anything to do with the surprise retirement of the controversial beagle. No mirrors are allowed on the set to prevent any individual soul searching of their own personal style of coverage-not that anyone at ESPN can really look themselves in the face anyway. No one is nominated for an ESPY. The network finally ran out.
11:30 PM-All ESPN Networks begin airing advertisements for 'Best of Doggie Gate on DVD', a 15 disc collection of interviews and clips, with live narration by James Earl Jones and bonus commentaries from Chris Berman, Dan Patrick, Jason Smith, Mike&Mike, John Kruk, Barry Melrose, Carl Lewis, Dickie V., Lee Corso, Chuck Norris and Christie Brinkley. Also available on the website specially priced for ESPN Nation members. Supplies are limited. Order Now!
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