Pull My Finger 9/17/08

The Jets officially named Brett Favre one of the team captains a few days before their opener against Miami. Before the game Favre admitted he was honored to be chosen, but shortly after a week two loss to New England Favre denied ever saying he was honored. Expect him to announce sometime this week that he'll wait until after the season to reveal whether he's honored or not.

In his feature film debut Ocho Johnson will play the title role in a remake of the film classic Sybil. Cinco Chad will star as a professional athlete with as many different names as endzone dances. The movie centers around the trials and tribulations of Bengals #85 trying to figure out if any of his personalities can swim faster than Michael Phelps.

In a sad day for Nascar, driver Ron Hornaday admitted to taking HGH and steroids. The racing association chose not to punish Hornaday, but did ask that the public refrain from telling Hornaday that he's supposed to be putting the additives in the CAR.

Shaquille O'Neal announced recently that he'll retire when his current contract is up in 730 or so days. Shaq stated unequivocally that there would be no talk of comebacks once he hangs them up, and to prove his seriousness he took out restraining orders against Roger Clemens and Brett Favre.

No team that has half its roster stocked with Europeans can rightfully call itself Hockeytown USA. Warroad, MN once again has reclaimed the crown. Here's hope that some honor can finally be restored to the title.

Derek Jeter was quoted after the Yanks recently split with the Rays: We can't lose again. Ya think there Captain Obvious? Maybe if the team had held that sense of urgency for the first four months of the season.....nah, any team that is still clinging to the hope that Carl Pavano is a viable pitching option needs some huge reworking.

The Cubs got a huge break when the remainder of their series with the Astros was moved to the north Chicago suburb of Milwaukee, but it was total overkill when Tim Donaghy stepped behind the plate to call balls and strikes.

Day 2731 of the Al Davis senility watch: Addressing the job security of current Raiders head coach Lane Kiffin the man in black stated 'He's not the guy I hired'. Al? Buddy? He actually is. Davis continued 'and another thing, we need to get Biletnikoff more touches too'.

The Vikes and Chargers have definite beefs with the officiating during NFL week 2. If I'm an NFL player and I see Ed 'Hollywood' Hochuli readying to toss the coin I cringe. Roger Goodell should just cut to the chase and steal a page from Dodgeball. Instead of replay a panel of four randomly selected ESPN talking heads will team with an equally random Nike executive to give thumbs up or down after every play.

I'm still coming to terms with the reactions to DeSean Jacksons' catch against the Cowboys. Whats the big deal? Breaking the two-yard line plane has to count for something. Doesn't it?

I'm not sure whether the comments of Josh Howard concerning the National Anthem bother me nearly as much as the minimalist reaction of Mark Cuban. Cubans' mild response is about what has become not only expected, but oddly acceptable, from someone who has become a multi-multi millionaire in the very country he disparages so easily. C'mon Mark, this country ain't so bad. Bet you'd have done just as well for yourself in some other country, say like Myanmar. I'm sure they could more than accommodate your brand of outspokenness with an equally proportional dose of good old-fashioned 'hospitality'.

Thanks for reading.